Hibachi Chef Prepares Himself Backstage To Rock Table Full of Hungry Patrons

Des Moines, IA — Behind a curtain of steam, flames, and light soy sauce, 34-year-old hibachi chef Riku Takahashi reportedly spent a tense 15 minutes backstage Saturday night engaging in deep breathing, rhythmic spatula stretches, and a whispered mantra of “YOU are the volcano.”

“He always gets like this before a big table,” said assistant server Kelly Dong, holding a chilled rag to her neck. “He says he has to become one with the onion stack before he performs. Last week he had a corporate birthday party for a guy named Craig and he nearly blacked out from adrenaline after making a heart out of fried rice.”

The table in question: an 8-top family reunion of Midwesterners celebrating Aunt Beth’s “clean bill of health and her new teeth” had already drained two scorpion bowls and was reportedly “rowdy with anticipation,” chanting things like “bounce egg bounce!” and “do the volcano thing, dude!”

Sources close to the grill say Takahashi could be heard backstage muttering lines like “flip, flip, catch, flip…no fear…you are the show,” and “remember what you trained for; chicken before shrimp, shrimp before steak, steak before inner peace.” As the diners waited, the anticipation continued to build until finally Takahashi emerged and took command of the table with a spatula in one hand and the confidence of a world-class entertainer in the other.

“I knew we were in for a ride when he slapped that grill like it owed him money,” said patron Glen Yost, who admitted to tearing up slightly when Takahashi performed a double egg crack behind his back, followed by an unsolicited fireball that singed the eyebrows of an unprepared cousin.

The meal, described as “legendary, a total W” and “like watching David Copperfield with protein,” included such classics as “catch the shrimp,” “beating heart made of fried rice,” and a brief but emotionally intense moment where Takahashi stared directly into a 9-year-old’s eyes and asked, “Are you ready for chicken?”

By the end of the performance, Takahashi had created seven full meals, launched a zucchini slice into a man’s mouth from six feet away, and successfully deflected a mid-meal question about gluten with a dazzling display of spatula twirling.

After the patrons left full and awestruck, Takahashi reportedly collapsed onto a bag of uncooked jasmine rice and whispered, “They were worthy.” He will be performing again Thursday at 6:30 p.m. for a bachelorette party from Cedar Rapids. Sources say he’s already rehearsing the shrimp heart.